The Froggy Double Header
Who would have thought it? Here we are sitting on top of our Heineken Cup Group with a maximum 10 points. We have already beaten the seeded team who, because of the stupidity of the governing body, happen to be the Italian champions, Treviso! Add to that a very convincing scalp taken at Rodney Parade against Newport Gwent Dragons and it's little wonder that certain London Irish fans are positively wide legged and eyeless at the prospects of the teams progression to the quarter finals. Well let me be the first to piss on their parade and tell them not to get too carried away before we see the outcome of our next two encounters both home and away to the French Top 14 side, Perpignan. These two matches will probably decide the eventual winner of the group.Perpignan currently sit in ninth position in the French domestic league having amassed a staggering eight points, four of these coming courtesy of a rare win by 16-0 to fellow strugglers Castres, last weekend. Let me also tell you that Perpignan, with their new coaching staff and plenty of new big name signings, have not been cutting the mustard so far this season and no matter what spin the likes of Scottish international and captain Nathan Hines tries to put on it, the bottom line is that the Catalans have failed to impress. This coupled with their lack-lustre away form should be sufficient inspiration for the Exiles to really nail home their advantage before going into round 4 and the second match of their double header next weekend.
It is not easy to pick out the danger men in the USAP ranks as the team positively oozes class. In the front row Kisi Pulu and Nicholas Mas or even England prop Perry Freshwater will take their respective places at the side of the very impressive hooker, Guilhem Guirado, a homegrown rarity who will most certainly feature in the future French National team. Expect to see Scottish international Nathan Hines marshal the team from the second row alongside the Argentinian Rimas Alvarez Kairelis while on the flanks both Damien Chouly and Viliami Vaki have been putting in sterling performances and will provide a stern test for Danaher, Roche or Thorpe. It may well be a case for bringing on Steffon; with his low center of gravity and barnstorming runs he may just manage to get between their legs without being noticed. A ball and man nutmeg no less.
I’m sure that anyone who witnessed the recent world cup 3/4 play off, will remember that crunching tackle that JML put in on his counterpart Sebastian Chabal. Well now he can have another go, only this time it will be the very impressive Samoan and ex Tiger Henry Tuilagi that he will face up to. This man has become a local hero and proved to be the cutting edge putting in a man of the match performance in their recent pool game against the Dragons. As one pundit put it, he is threatening to lift Chabal’s title of “man you’d least like to have running towards you in a tight alley.” So off you go then Juan and bloody good luck from us all over here!
This is a big pack and one more than capable of sticking it up their jumpers while marching yards to gain field position so it may be a wasted effort if Irish were to try and trade punches in this area of the game. This is a figure of speech of course; I am in no way referring to the trademark “Paicey” punch that we have witnessed on one or two occasions in the not too distant past. Behind the pack Cedric Rosalen at fly half has been ever reliable with the boot while David Marty is consistently putting in world-class performances in the centre. Add to this either Nicolas Durand or maybe Scotland’s own Chris Cusiter at scrum half and it becomes difficult to understand why this team has succumbed to such a high error rate and spluttered and clunked through their early season matches. Maybe it will take something special to kick-start the Catalans, maybe something special like the arrival of Springbok World cup winning fullback, Percy Montgomery! Yes, he has arrived and will most likely play against the Irish on Sunday.
A win against USAP at the weekend would put the Exiles in a very strong position to win the group outright. A win the following weekend could offer a very desirable home draw against the best runners up and a realistic chance of reaching the semi-finals! This is of course all dependent on the outcome of the two remaining games in the group, Treviso away and the Dragons at home. Not wishing to get too carried away however, this will be a stern test against one of the top French sides that have a good pedigree in this competition. Not so much on English soil though where their record shows played 6 lost 6. So that’s the kiss of death for the Exiles then…
And finally a quick word to my French Auntie Christiane;
Bitch!
USAP by 15
--Upandunder