Irish Aim to Remain Unfezzed
The freaking bouncy banging breast-fest of Glaws female fan-ship seems a distant hungover dream or nightmare, depending on your persuasion. Now London Irish aim to turn their back on the freaking pants form of 2007 and get the first win since last flipping year. The opposition in the way of this begger come in the formidable shape of an in-form Saracens side, riding their freaking way North towards to play-off utopia.This will be the first of back-to-back league meetings for these to old foes, and these games will go a freaking long way in directing each of these sides to their final resting place in terms of the league. Europe splits the fixtures, but the DORs flipping know the importance of the next 2 league games, and the Sarries will be gagging more than an untrained porn star to bag a couple.
Not since 1955, the same year that a flipping vaccination for Polio was announced to the world, have the Sorries found a consistency only associated with the menstrual cycle of a Virgin twenty-freaking-something. Four wins from the last six premiership outings have seen the freakin fez-heads go Apollo 12 up the freaking premiership, shooting for the moon, with a the whiff of cheese in the nasal passage.
Prior to their mullering at Welfare Roads, where getting anything other than a good curry is the norm, the Sorries freaking gate-crashed the top four with imaginings of shiny tings popping into the sex-crazed dreams of their patient supporters. With a mere point between them and a return to this promised land, even former coach, Mr. Miyagi, will be impressed by the strides taken by Alan Gaffney and his chargers this term.
Gaffney, the former Leinster and Munster DOR, seems to have found a formula that has been freaking missing under previous high profile coaches and staff. The side from the North of England have been pounding the flipping oppo try line harder than a Viagra fuelled teenager on speed with a rampant Swedish darling.
With 34 tries from the twelve rounds played in the AG Premiership, they are the top try scorers as well as these little 5 point beggers bagging them 4 TB points. Their defence of their own line has not been too shabby either.
The players seemed to have found an extra freaking something, either through better training, or due to the fact they actually seem to give a hoot this season. This is now reaping the rewards and will go a long way in achieving far more than previous Sorries sides have gained.
The whole Andy Farrell, and where this begger will play for England before he had even pulled on a Sarries shirt, seems to have been a distraction that has now been freaking put to bed. The former Rugby League great has found a home at inside centre, where he can influence the play, but has also allowed other freakin players the chance to get a few flipping mentions.
Glena Jackson has now found that by avoiding kicking his own freaking hole, he can land the big kicks and help his side to victory.
Yates, Cairns and Visagie are a trio of fat beggers than are asking some real freaking rock hard questions of oppo front rows and have become one hell of a power of three. With the front row settled, locks such as Fullarton and Raiwalui have secured ball as well as cementing a formidable tight five.
The back rowers have also stepped up and stolen more than the Artful Dodger for the cause, and a returning World Cup hero in the formidable form of Richard Hill MBE will go a freaking long way in helping to maintain this.
The final ingredient had to come from raiding London Irish and robbing the Exiles of real talent. Gustard, Laidlaw and Penny have headed North and helped elevated this proud club.
Finally, any outfit that can have Seymour Kock in their selection configuration, must be freaking taken seriously!
London Irish have had an excellent return from the recent history of this flipping fixture, winning five of the last six league encounters. This seasons EDF lack-of-energy Cup fixture was also a rosy day for Irish, with a convincing 36-24 freaking Madstad mullering issued.
This, however, is not a game to put your flipping mortgage on the eventual outcome at Paddy Powers, and the EDF thing will not have any weight to it.
The Irish have found good freaking form of their own, especially at the Madstad. Wins over Saints, Ulster and the Cheaters in Reading have imparted self-belief and helped drag the beggers away from the arse end of the league. No pre-season to flipping talk off, and the return of key players from injury has freaking helped the situation. They seem fresher and hungrier than the displays freakin witnessed early doors.
Mike Catt MBE and Shane Geraghty have even got themselves freaking selected for the English 6 Nations squad! Who the hell said that coming or playing for Irish will end your international aspirations! Still, will cost a freaking fortune to keep Geraghty if and when the Irish fella gets his first England cap!
There are freaking loads of key battles allez uber der paddock, with the fat beggers again holding the key. Two freaking HUGE front rows will collide come set piece, having touched and paused of course. The second rows will be fighting for every scrap at line out, especially when the mullet takes to the field!
In the back row though, lies a hideous mass of beef and murderous intent. Possession pinching, ball retention and big tackles, but not in a homo way, will be fought from the 6 plus benchers. The winner of this area on the day will unleash a wave of dangerous girls not seen since “The Belles of St Trinian's” from either side.
This will not be a freaking game for the feint hearted, and by Jesus the winners and losers on the day will be counting the bruices on Sunday night. Irish have it in them to take this tussle, but then again, them Sorrie beggers do also!
--Master Scribe