Saracens Fez’ed by Davey
London Irish took the fecking spoils in a pulsating game at the Madstad to ensure third place and a semi-final berth against the fecking Cheaters. In truth, this is a game that the Sorries may feel they should have won as a fond farewell to Kyran Bracken, the former England scrummie and World Cup winner.The score line flattered the home side as the visitors, under the direction of the genius that is Thomas Castaignède, had plenty of field position and opportunity to win two fecking games. However, Irish defended manfully and produced turnover ball in threatening positions, and overall just took their freaking chances well.
Two tries each from Topsy Ojo and Delon Armitage was the friggin’ Sorries killer and delivered the fecking hard-earned victory to a passionate home crowd of over 11,000.
The Saracens will feel harshly dealt with by Sean Davey throughout the piece. The decisions to yellow card Juan Leguizamon, but not award a penalty try, after he had pulled back Castaignède seemed bizarre. The Puma had pulled the shirt of the Frenchman when he looked odds on to bag a five pointer.
The whole move called into question the amplitude of the Yorkshire whistler, as the kick through from Glen Jackson that led to this penalty seemed to have struck the refs fecking leg before being played by a Sarrie. This should have stopped the game there and then, resulting in an attacking scrum, but oh no, ‘play the feck on’ was the call.
Also, Davey saw fit to disallow what appeared to be a legit try by Cobus Visagie in the corner, instead dragging the game back to the opposite touchline for a Sarries free-kick! Feck me, that was a grand called as the ball ended up in Irish paws.
Saracens, with Simon Raiwalui feeding Dan Harris for the opening score, had dictated the opening salvos. Glen Jackson added the extras as well as grabbing a penalty soon after to give the visitors a deserved ten point leading margin. Irish kept on chipping away at this lead, but it looked to all that a hangover after the previous weeks insect fecking was being played out.
Thomas Castaignède was the stand out all over the field, making trademark breaks and bringing in plenty of support runners into the play. His personal display was the difference in maintaining a slender lead, but in the end, Sorries mistakes were fecking punished better than a dominatrix thrashing a naughty punter.
Brian Smith had stated that the blitz defence will put fecking huge volumes of pressure on the opposition and will deliver tries from first phase after huge hit turnovers. This was the fecking game plan, and another day when it reaped huge friggin’ rewards.
The counter-acting of the Irish is awesome to see, with the pace of the back three burning scorch marks into the freakin’ turf when a sniff of a try is offered. This was the Sorries ball breaker when the final points were calculated at the end game.
The binning of the second row partnership of Tom Ryder and Simon Raiwalui was never going to help their cause, as an edge to the game built throughout. The ginger minger, Hugh Vyvyan, seemed at the centre of all fecking handbag sessions, and should feel lucky at not receiving the same fate as his colleagues.
London Irish were also guilty of making the game a feisty affair, with the fat feckers of the pack never taking a backward step in contact or issuing a slapping. Again, the TJ’s seemed to have more of a fecking clue on how to boss this, as the hapless Davey went AWOL at key decision points. This game had more flags than a Grand Prix!
The Irish centre pairing of Shane Geraghty and Dominic Feau'nati seems as likely a partnership as Jordan bouncing all over Prescott in a sex-fuelled frenzy, but it became very pleasant to the eye, unlike a Jordan/Prescott happening. Geraghty is starting to show some real deal silky skills, and Feau'nati likes to hammer in the big tackle, but not in a homo way. Once these two had a quarter together, they started to string phases together. It wasn’t a Catt/Tiesi well oiled machine, but effective for this game.
The front row gave another great account of themselves, with stable scrumagging and determined efforts made to feck the Sorries. The Nick Kennedy and Bob Casey combo were a pain in the arse for the visitors all day, summed up by the fecking dirty Visagie stamping on Casey during the second period.
The back row of Juan Leguizamon, Kieron Dawson, and Declan Danaher had a real stormer, winning ball for friggin’ fun in the contact area. Dawson has now completed his final game at the Madhouse before he moves home to Belfast, and best of fecking luck to the man. Danaher just continued the fecking awesome show of the previous week, and this Irish lad may well yet make a full English squad.
Barry Everitt also made an appearance and showed no real rustiness, as he attempted to replicate the exciting 10 work of Flutey. This will add impact to the Irish bench now that the Business end of the season is freakin’ here. Also, the appearance of Paul Hodgson towards the end provided assurances to the masses after he had hobbled off the previous week. Ben Willis was a worthy deputy and seemed to love the dual with Bracken all day.
The back three just about did the game again, with Super Topsy Ojo the cream of the crop. The speed from these feckers is starting to become more sex charged than the Tom Biggs fella from Leeds. The blowjob in a Ferrari at 125mph can now be levied this way now lads!
The overall feel of the day was summarised after the final whistle and subsequent lap of honour, namely a carnival type thing. The superb reception offered to Kyran Bracken as he departed the field of play for the final time shows exactly why rugby is a fecking awesome sport, but it also added to end of season feel.
Bran Smith now needs to lift his chargers away from this lethargy and onwards towards the fecking fields of Welfare Road. A hugely improved Leicester from that of a shoite showing against Bath in the HC, will be up for this and will ask harder questions than Magnus Magnusson.
The Sarries game was job done, just, and with a flattering margin of victory. Another try bonus delivered and also the top dog try scorers of the premiership with fifty-four, is one feck of a turnaround from the previous season. London Irish now have a fecking real chance of becoming legends. Let the show now begin.
London Irish: 15 Delon Armitage, 14 Topsy Ojo, 13 Shane Geraghty, 12 Dominic Feau'nati, 11 Sailosi Tagicakibau, 10 Riki Flutey, 9 Ben Willis, 8 Juan Leguizamon, 7 Kieron Dawson, 6 Declan Danaher, 5 Nick Kennedy, 4 Bob Casey (capt), 3 Richard Skuse, 2 Robbie Russell, 1 Michael Collins.
Replacements: 16 Neal Hatley, 17 David Paice, 18 Kieran Roche, 19 Phil Murphy, 20 Gonzalo Tiesi, 21 Paul Hodgson, 22 Barry Everitt.
-- Master Scribe