Barry Puts Boot into Falcons
Barry Everitt, the kicking machine, came off the intended bench spot to claim a fantastic win for London Irish. On a Friday night in the Northeast, in front of a sell out crowd, The Boot proved he has more to his game by supplying an excellent match, capped by his break that lead to the exiles first try.With Orak’s missus about to drop a tot, a reshuffle of the girls was required, with Flutey heading backwards to fullback and Everitt slotting in at 10. Willis came back in as the scrummie for the unlucky Dodge, and Bishop replaced Staniforth, out with an injury around the scrotum arena.
The other changes to the side that fecked the Barf lot was in the front row, with the two Springboks in the large forms of Coetzee and Rautenbach, starting for the first time. This meant that the tight five weighed in at around four and half fecking tonnes, giving them a huge advantage over the wafer thin lads up front for the Falcons.
The game started at a great pace, with both sides looking to set about their respective jobs in a hurry. Newcastle had the territorial advantage in the first twenty minutes or so, a period where the visitors just couldn’t reproduce the form of the previous week.
The line out was pure shite for Irish, with a 50% success rate in an area we had targeted as the main ball winning set-piece. The scrummaging looked solid, but that is to be expected from a front row that had a three or four stone advantage, and that was just on the tighthead side!
The Falcons, for all their possession, just did not seem to want to convert it into points. It was a full twelve minutes before the scoreboard geezer was forced to get off his fat arse and post some figures. Johnny posted the first penalty, which was cancelled out by the first of Barry’s 3 pointers five minutes later.
The game then stepped up in class and pace when Burke touched down for a home try. The Falcons were gifted an attacking scrum from ref Sean Davey, after Irish had knocked-on in contact from a defending lineout. The ball was spun out in to the midfield before Tait fed the fullback, Burke. With pure brute strength and a feck-arse cover missed tackle from Catt, the former Aussie World champ dotted the ball down for the try. The extras were not taken by Wilkinson.
Not twenty minutes gone, and Irish were down 8-3, and it should have been a lot more! The try seemed to be the kick up the arse they needed as from this point on the feckers got themselves sorted out. The lineout was starting to work and the pressure on the opposition hooker, Long, seemed to be paying dividends as he started getting the Thompsons with his throws. The forwards were starting to get in the faces of Squeaky’s fatboys and recycling ball for fun. The girls hands appeared to be warming up, allowing them to hold the fecking pill and start getting the thing moving.
Squeaky’s lot were feeling the pressure to a man which allowed Barry to bang over a couple of penalties to move the Irish into the lead, for offences in and around the contact area.
Then, just before the break, the Tip boy did good. Due to the perceived fact that Barry can only fecking kick with every possession given to him, the Falcons forgot to apply any sort of pressure to him just outside the home sides 22. The Boot then did the unthinkable and burst through a gap left by two of the all blacks back row, then turned to sling a pass to the on-rushing skipper Catt before contact. Catt made up for missing Burke, when he popped up a good pass to the Flute-meister, who juggled the ball for effect before touching down under the posts. Barry added the 2 points that ended the half with LI ahead 16-8.
Wow, what a turnaround for the visitors after the opening shite they had served up. This team are really starting to show a spirit and collective drive to get the fecking job done now a days. Brian Smith must have been purring at the break, while Squeaky went frickin mental with his lads. Andrews hates losing, especially against us feckwits!
The second half started with Newcastle chasing the game, which lead to Catt foiling a girls move. He then hacked the ball down the pitch. The old man chased after the fecker with Delon in partnership, and showed remarkable pace to reach the pill before anyone else, where he then hacked on again. The odd-shaped ball didn’t favour the lads in white as it pinged left into the tracks of the recovering Tait. All the 19 year old could do was carry it over the try-line and touch down for an attacking scrum 5 metres out.
Over to the fatboys to really turn up the heat, and a well-controlled scrum was pushed the required five metres before Murphy picked up at 8 and crashed over for an excellent forwards try. Barry added more salt to Squeaky’s open wound, namely his gob, by adding the conversion. 20 unanswered points since the Burke try and Irish surely on a roll! BP time could and should have been ours if the lads could have stepped up the pressure and ground down the Falcons.
This was not to be, and in the end Irish could have left with just a losing bonus point. A series of penalties allowed Wilkinson to parade his kicking skills until the gap was 3 points on the hour mark. The momentum was with the home side who were starting to show great character in the face of a potential kicking.
The last twenty minutes was theirs, but without gaining points they deserved. All the travelling green hordes, showed the nerves as the reality of throwing away a fecking great lead was being played out before our eyes. Time and again the Irish defence was stretched to breaking point, but on every occasion they rode their luck as the determination of the tacking was ramped up to quell the black attacks.
The Falcons were starting to get fecking desperate and wanted to win at all costs, turning down potential 3 pointers through a penalty or setting up the Wilkinson left/right boot for a drop goal. Maybes they should have travelled this route and nabbed a draw rather than staking all for the try; however their endeavour nearly paid off in the dying embers of this pulsating match.
A good break released May in the Irish 22, who took some stopping after he kicked off his left foot. This had the defence more stretched than a fecking stretched thing, resulting in the away fans grabbing for the Prozac. The ball made its way right down the line, before Tait attempted an inside pop pass to Parling, who then proceeded to drop the fecker at the feet of the panicked defensive line. ‘Ya fecking beauty’, was the cry as the ball was banged out from the resulting scrum. Another win - this on the back of the lovely Bath time the previous weekend - and up to fourth before the Saturday games were completed.
Rob Andrew was alleged to have commented: ‘Them lucky fecking Bog-wog wankers cheated and stole the fecking points tonight. They should be banned from the league as they don’t add feck all to the English game. I, for one, feel that the inbreed feckers should be deported back to all the colonial countries they fecking came from.’
Overall, the luck of the Irish was with us as we desperately defended a 3 point lead for a quarter of the match. The fatboys ground out a hard fought victory with some fecking brutal defence, tackles that will leave their mark for a good while yet on the bods of the Falcons. Coetzee had a shaky start but got into the game and Rautenbach was fecking HUGE. The back row will be in the thoughts of the home side for a few weeks yet, with Rochey giving a massive amount to the cause. Smith and Catt were more relieved than happy, I’d expect, but a win up there is hard to pull out.
For me though, Barry has proven that he is a class act, and pulled a breamer of a frickin’ performance out of the bag. The early season yips in front of the posts have now been erased, as he had a 100% boot night, as well as setting up the first try. The competition for a start is getting hotter in all divisions, which can only be good.
Next week will be another test for this developing unit, with the visit of Gloucester. Win that one, and dreams of HC may come true.
Dem Irish Feckers Team:
Flutey, Armitage, Penney, Catt, Bishop, Everitt, Willis,
Hatley, Coetzee, Rautembach, Casey, Kennedy, Roche, Danaher, Murphy.
Bench:
Strudwick, Collins, Russell, Gustard,
Feaunati, Hodgson, Mordt.
-- Master Scribe