Pest Control a Requirement Pre-2006
New Years Eve at the Madstad, and our visitors are only the fecking Pests in name and attitude. Jesus. Cheers RFU for this fixture, oh, and thanks Sky for bothering to fecking visit us on a day when we would otherwise get a HUGE crowd, which may well be slightly diminished by your presence. Please call again.London Wasps then. Second in the table, their favoured position in the league prior to claiming the last three Premiership titles, and fresh from mullering the Starlets in the HC in the run up to their home game against the Glaws feckers. With tries from Hart, Shaw, the world class Lewsey and of course one of our old boys Sackey, the Pests recorded a 32-25 win.
Skipper Dallaglio gauged a friendship with Hazel, and will be spitting bricks having endured this punishment from the England wannabe, which he will take into our game. Now, he is an irritating fecker, but does provide leadership and a bit of law bending that wins shiny things. Better in your own than against is a fair call on this frickin real pest.
The Wasps fans have been in state of conflict with the Jock legend Ian McGeechan as the cox to their former European Champion squad, with some calling for the big mans head. There are bound to be changes made, especially replacing a coaching legend, but the Wycombe lads are starting to hit their straps.
With a probable exit from the European elite competition, their focus on the English big prize and claiming four in a row will be escalated with less rotation of their fine squad. They will want to ensure a home game for the play-offs, so will target a win come Saturday to establish a huge gap between second and third.
In the pack, they have a back row that battles and beats teams into submission. The returning England international Worsley and the Irish international O'Connor compliment the former Lion, Dallaglio in all aspects of the game, competing for everything.
A front row containing the mobile Ibanez and the chunk of Payne will ensure a stable platform, although the French man could well be a target for the exiles second row in the line-out.
In the second row, former England man Shaw and a probable start for his partner Skivington provide a strong engine room for the set-piece and by Christ they are horrible feckers in the dark arts and contact. All these frickin forwards together know their way around any paddock and will guarantee ball and platform to launch their backs.
New England boy Van Gisbergen, having sold his roots for international recognition, affords the Pests attacking options with both ball in hand and also from the boot. He is also very useful under a high ball, and always looking to get the girls going. The two wingers completing the back 3 will probably be Sackey and Voyce.
Voyce is under capped at international level and is a strong difficult man to ground. He can and has scored tries from deep, but is also affective when cutting lines in field. Now this fecker loves playing the Irish, so big hits early must rain on him.
Sackey continues to bag the tries and now gets more ball after his move up the M4. He has struggled to impress on the high standards set by the Wasps faithful, with a few performances that failed to achieve Championship standards. The former Bedford star’s move has now gained him a place on the England Churchill Cup squad (although he did get this at LI) and a championship winners medal to sit alongside his PowerGen Cup medal.
With the most awesome club centre partnership broken with the injury to Waters, Abbott finds himself alongside a decent replacement in Lewsey. These are two strike runners that work well together. Holes here will need to be plunged, as the pace is frightening.
All can be interchanged from the bench by both Irish old boy Hoadley and the fecking huge Erinle, so 90 minutes of big bang, feck everything defence will be required.
The half back pairing will definitely include that fecker King, but either the former Munster man Reddan or our favourite grobster Dawson will be delivering the ball to him. The Scribes vote would be with the younger man Reddan who is starting to show the promise when in the shadow of Stringer.
To win this fecker, London Irish will have to play well in all areas of the field. The set piece could be a key area to win ball and get the girls lungs burning, but the loose will be the real game breaker. To get under the Pests skin, slowing their ball will be a real target for Brian Smith’s chargers, in an attempt to prevent their backs hitting us, especially first phase!
There are some real key match ups, dependant on availability. Big Bob needs to dominate Shaw, Dodge must continue his run of form and battle Reddan/Dawson, the front row need to apply the pressure at scrum time and the girls need to match their opposite number. Penalties may well decide the outcome; so good discipline is a must to prevent Van for Hire having pot shots at the exile’s goal, but also Barry needs to take every chance.
The Brothers will be out in their New Years best, the 3Gs will be hoping to welcome in both 2006 and 4 points together with Free Mac Guinness and lads hoping to finally beat the fecking Pests in their own back yard.
LI should now believe and deliver us 4 points. It can be done.
-- Master Scribe