Lets Get Ham-mered
[Ed – I believe our Master Scribe has already started on his “spiritual” journey.]Hey dudes, a far out away day is ours, man. Challenge Cup, the stuff of wicked thoughts and protruding objects come, like, er, game time…
Ah, feck this man. There are, like, literally 1,247 match previews that will give details of the opposition and feck like that. I am looking forward to what is promising to be a great trip … or two, you dig? A long weekend spent hugging several pints, promptly followed by hugging the bowl.
We will win against an Italian side containing American dudes, Mounted Canadians, a few corn beefeaters and of course local pizza boys. We will rest some star geezers for Pau and Gloucester.
Match Preview complete, man.
Now, we may be in the Ham capital of the world(!!), but like we are off to Milano and stuff and I am as excited as I was when, like, I submitted my first Goggle search. This far out city will, like, mean we will encounter Italy's financial centre, cos they are well rich and loaded. She will be offering the top fashion chances and there is well awesome art to explore. The dudes can get the threads, man. The old dude is gonna fecking freak over the designer Almanac suits he can pick up.
We just have to skunk the lungs, then take the time to experience the variety of monuments, museums, as well as churches the city has to offer. As a well good Buddhist fecker, this lonesome dude will leave this shite for the rest of you fecking cat-holics.
But like, hang-a-fecking-spliff-fest, as this dude has just noticed my most haunting of dreams can be realised. ‘Art creations by Michel Angle and Leonardo da Caprio can be enjoyed throughout this city’, now this is beyond any acid shake, man. These dudes are probably the damn-dest feckers in the history of awesome graffiti. A must phot for all the monk-dudes.
Temp wise, now lads, is fecking freezing, man. Friday has the moderate wind thing occurring with a well low, er high of 0 and a low of –9, but feck, that is the hot fecker.
The old dude ain’t going to be laughing for like feck all minutes, even in the chicken suit. Saturday: Bright Moderate winds low –10, high –1. Sunday: Bright Moderate winds low –13, high –1. Colder than the turkey I had to go through in 1981, but we like laughed about it for 29 minutes in 1982. The old dude, was like still old then man, which like freaks the feck out of me.
The match is on Saturday in Parma, which is culinary mecca in northern Italy, ideal for the munchies after the most awesome smokes available the night before.
We can get on the long metal fecking thing, you know, man, that goes anywhere it fecking can on like tracks and stuff. This will take about 13 hours 15 minutes from Milan to Parma (9:30 – 10:45), so we may have to leave like yesterday, but ah we should be fine.
Temp for the day is low of –16 and high of 3, I just like, get down on my knees and prey man, that this 19 degree shift in mercury does not happen in between fecking halfs. May have to break out the tweed and skin up for like, Europe. Mmmmmmmmmmm, smoke the shit from using ham as skin. The best ideas always come to me will penning a preview on the throne man.
The old dude reckons on a bit of a ceilidh after the match and has found The Shannon pub to be the aim. Irish fecking themed pubs abroad are like the only answer.
Travel Guide:
Parma, located between Piacenza and Reggio Emilia on the Parma River, has a fine central historical zone to visit.
Game done, and the dudes need to get shifty. Back to the new found mother land of Milan for a drop of red and some resin.
Some dudes are after a drop of the footie shite. Inter Milan are playing in the Sam of Siro against some Canadian dudes called Calgary on the Sunday. Me and the old dude will be on our way to the great wall, or some other terrorist spot to get down and dirty with local traditions. Oh, I believe we may have a laugh or three, and like, we may break our record. It was in 1992 that he and I laughed for 16 hours 23 minutes without taking a piss, man. Ruptured his spleen and burst an eyeball, the daft fecker which seemed to keep us going.
Feck me dudes, I am going on. Gotta say Happy Birthday to Sin Bin, LIAdmin dude and that little fecker Jock Ex-Giles. These dudes will be having a ceilidh this weekend, so please, like, be careful.
Okay dudes, spot you in Milan. Safe cruising.
-- Master Scribe